6 Ways To Build Strong Relationships With Your Executive Function Coaching Clients
- Sean G. McCormick
- Aug 27, 2024
- 8 min read
Updated: Dec 9, 2025
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If a student feels overwhelmed or disengaged in your sessions, the coaching relationship is already at high risk of ending early.
In this post, I will teach you 6 ways to build strong relationships with new executive function coaching clients so your students feel seen, safe, and motivated to keep working with you.👇
Table of Contents:
Picture this:
You log into Zoom with a new ninth grader whose parents have sent you a three page email about missing assignments and late work.
You come in ready with your favorite planning template, a clever lesson about task initiation, and a pep talk about “taking ownership.”
Ten minutes in, the student is giving one word answers, staring off to the side, and mumbling “I don’t know” to every question.
A week later, the parent emails to say they want to “pause coaching for now.”
Nothing in that scenario failed because your strategies were bad.
It fell apart because the relationship never got strong enough for the student to trust you, open up, and try anything new.
This article is all about why a strong connection with clients is so crucial and how to build one from the first session.
Why Does Building a Strong Relationship With Your EF Coaching Client Matter?
When you coach executive function skills, your relationship with the client is the container that holds every tool, strategy, and habit you teach.
If they do not feel safe, seen, and respected, they will nod along on Zoom then ghost your homework plan the second you end the call.
A strong relationship gives you honest data, real buy in, and enough trust to gently challenge excuses without the session turning into a power struggle.
For example, imagine a college student who keeps “forgetting” to use their calendar.
If you have a solid relationship, you can say,
“I notice you keep avoiding this step. What feels hard about it”
and they will actually tell you they feel stupid every time they open their planner.
Now you can coach the real problem, not just lecture them on reminders.
What Mistakes Do New EF Coaches Make When Building Strong Relationships With Clients?
Mistake #1: Doing Too Much in Sessions
One of the biggest mistakes new coaches make is trying to do too much in their sessions.
The reason for this is the dreaded impostor syndrome which causes new EF coaches to feel like they need to:
Amaze their clients by showing off their deep knowledge of executive function skills
Do more than expected in sessions in hopes their clients walk away with lots of value
Push their clients to do more and more hoping that parents will be satisfied with their investment in coaching.
For more on imposter syndrome for EF coaches, check out this a video👇
Mistake #2: Overloading the Student
Many novice coaches try to tackle significant concepts like metacognition or working memory right away.
This can overwhelm the student and make them reluctant to continue.
Instead, start with smaller, more manageable tasks.
Mistake #3: Lack of Practical Focus
Parents typically seek executive function coaches for practical solutions to school-specific challenges, not deep analytical evaluations.
For example, if a parent comes to you because their middle schooler is missing ten assignments, they do not want a long discussion about the student’s motivation theory.
They want you to help their child:
list the missing work
block out time to catch up
know what to do if they get stuck
Ensure your sessions are focused on actionable tasks that address these immediate needs.
Ensure your sessions are focused on actionable tasks that address these immediate needs.
Mistake #4: Trying to Be the "Everything Coach"
Some coaches attempt to be life coaches, therapists, and academic specialists all in one.
This can dilute your effectiveness.
Focus on helping students manage their schoolwork effectively, and let other specialists handle the rest.
6 Ways To Build Strong Relationships With Your Executive Function Coaching Clients
1. Build a Connection
Start by getting to know your student.
Learn about their interests and ensure they feel comfortable sharing their screen if you're working online.
This initial connection is crucial for long-term success.
Here are a few questions I ask in the first session to get to know them better:
"What is the cheat code to being a great coach for you?"
"Your parents shared with me that you interested in _____. Will you tell me more about that?"
"What would you do in this session for it to feel like an amazing use of your time?"
2. Focus on Practical Tasks
Help the student learn how to check Google Classroom, Canva, or Schoology to identify missing assignments.
Confirm that they can respond to a text message and communicate with their teachers.
These small tasks are essential for building a foundation of success and are what I call a "trial-yes" to ensure they will buy in to bigger asks down the road.
If they won't share their screen with you, there is no way there are going to want to learn about cognitive inhibition from you.
3. Involve Parents
Parents play a pivotal role in the process.
Incorporate a family team meeting process and engage parents by writing a session note after each session.
This keeps them informed and involved without being overbearing.
It also allows you to monitor progress and collect feedback so you don't get dropped as a coach, unexpectedly.
4. Measure Progress
Track the number of missing assignments and have the student self-report the impact of the coaching process.
For example, you might see a student go from 15 missing assignments to 3 over four weeks, and in a quick check-in they rate their stress about school dropping from an 8 to a 4.
Use feedback from family team meetings to gauge progress and make necessary adjustments.
5. Focus on Small Wins
When you first start working with a student, it's crucial to achieve small wins.
Many novice coaches say to me:
I want to teach them metacognition and emotional regulation -- the stuff that matters in life.
While there is value in those skills, the problem with jumping straight into those high-level EF skills is that it is like trying to teach a child to read by handing them a copy of "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy.
It would overwhelm them and ignore the pressing problem that needs solving.
Instead, focus on smaller tasks that are immediately useful, such as helping the student learn how to:
Check their portals
Identify missing assignments
Communicate with their teachers
6. Make A Habit of Small Improvements in Your Coaching Practice
Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed or challenged in my coaching practice (and life) I try to identify the fundamental problem that is below the surface.
For example, I was recently struggling with not being able to make time to go to the gym during the workday and maintain my health.
Instead of formulating the question, "How do I make more time to go to the gym during the work day?" which is hyper-specific, I searched for:
How do I free up more time in my schedule?
This search had a host of high-quality videos which helped me develop a new system of writing out my ideal schedule, then working toward it.
In the same way, I encourage you to identify the struggles in your coaching practice, then make a habit out of developing new skills to address those areas of need or weakness.
You will be amazed at the changes you can make when you start to get specific, deliberate, and intentional around your areas of growth.
If you're looking for a community of EF coaches to get guidance and support, check out my Skool community of EF coaches building and scaling their coaching practices.
The Bottom Line
A strong student-coach relationship is crucial so your student feels safe, seen, and respected. Here's a recap of the 6 ways to build strong relationships with your clients:
1. Focus on getting to know your students, rather than getting a lot of work done.
2. Teach your students practical skills like how to communicate with teachers.
3. Proactively seek feedback from parents using FTMs and notes.
4. Track clear goals like missing assignments to show concrete progress.
5. Make a habit of working on small tweaks to your coaching practice.
Hope this helps! 🤙🏻
FAQs
How long does it usually take to build a strong relationship with an EF coaching client?
You can usually build a basic level of trust within the first three to five sessions if you are consistent, curious, and nonjudgmental.
Deeper buy in often comes after the student experiences a few small wins that you helped them create.
What should I do if a student refuses to share their screen or talk much in sessions?
Take that as data, not a personal failure.
Slow down, ask low pressure questions about their interests, and negotiate tiny next steps instead of forcing your usual agenda.
How do I handle parents who want fast results while I focus on relationship building and small wins?
Be transparent from the start that strong relationships and small early wins are what lead to sustained progress, not quick fixes.
Then use your session notes and simple data like missing assignments or stress ratings to show that things are moving in the right direction.
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About Me
Hey! I'm Sean 👋
I'm a former public school special education teacher who realized that executive function skills are more important than knowing when George Washington crossed the Potomac.
Since then, I've made it my mission to teach anyone who will listen about how to develop these key life skills.
In 2020, I founded Executive Function Specialists to ensure all students with ADHD and Autism have access to high-quality online executive function coaching services. We offer online EF coaching and courses to help students and families.
Realizing I could only reach so many people through coaching, in 2021 I started the Executive Function Coaching Academy which trains schools, educators, and individuals to learn the key strategies to improve executive function skills for students.
In 2023, I co-founded of UpSkill Specialists, to provide neurodivergent adults with high-quality executive function coaching services.
When not pursuing my passions through work, I love spending time with my family, getting exercise, and expanding my brain through reading. You can connect with me on LinkedIn.